I’ll probably never be an Olympian. I mean, I can say this with about 99.9% assurance. Given that I’m 27 years old and can’t think of any sport I’m particularly good at likely means I won’t ever exceed in a manner over most other people. But then, you never really know. After all, I’ve never actually tried curling or bobsledding, so throw me on some ice and I could end up being a champ. Stranger things have happened I suppose (though none are really coming to my mind at the moment).
I’m probably better off this way though because i get nauseous every time I watch an Olympic competition. For sheer nerves. I mostly close my eyes too. And if I was actually competing? This probably wouldn’t bode well for my chance at a medal. But sports scare me and the Olympics always remind me how spectacularly horrible I’ve always been at athletics. And that I closed my eyes a lot while involved in sporting activities back in the day too.
But maybe, just maybe if I had tried a little bit harder, it could be me at the Olympics. I mean, I was given all the opportunities as a kid. But the problem is, I don’t think I really knew what the Olympics were when I was young. Or else I may have tried to make it to them. Maybe, just maybe I would have opened up my freaking eyes and actually tried at sports.
I ice skated for about 5 years and I had a love/hate relationship with it. Ew gross cold. Ouch help falling. Ooh pretty ice skates. yay I can go fast. The problem is, one day they wanted to teach me all about jumps. Ummm no. You want me to actually pick my entire body up off the ice and just pray for the off-chance that I’ll land back on my ice on my feet? Not gonna happen. I tried a few little jumps with my eyes closed, but I was informed this wasn’t OK. So, bye.
Skiing? Been there, done that too. I never skied when I was little, so my mom enrolled me in lessons when I was in middle school. Pretty much a disaster. I mean, I made it down the mountain, but the chairlift scared me half to death. And closing your eyes getting off the lift? Not the best idea in the world. I also wore my white gloves going up the rope-tow and they turned black and everyone laughed at me. Then my jacket, snowpants, and school clothes were stolen from the lodge and I decided I hated skiing.
Don’t even get me started on the spring Olympics. You don’t want to hear my swimming story (but it does involve the Girl Scouts of America). And gymnastics? I already told you how I feel about picking my entire body up off the ground. I can’t even do a cartwheel.
The thing is, I don’t think I’m necessarily bad at sports and athletics, I’m just scared to death of them. If I fall of the chairlift, I’ll break my neck and DIE. If I fall on the ice, I’ll crack my head open and DIE. Sports might be fun, but dying is not.
So, that is why the Olympics scare me and why I’ll never have the pleasure of winning a medal. But really, go USA; just don’t die please.
(After I wrote this post, I remembered that Nodar Kumaritashvili really did die during the Olympics, so I hope you don’t think I’m being offensive. But now, this just compounds my fears of sporting events).