When I was at home last weekend, I came across all my old diaries. I started a diary when I turned 8 and kept going straight through college. Then I discovered blogging and forgot how to write with a pen and paper. Most of the content in these diaries is pure embarrassment. Like, really bad. I almost wanted to throw them all away because, what on Earth was wrong with me? But then, there are some good memories in them so I figure I need to save them forever. The funniest was the first diary, which took me from age 8 to age 12 to fill up. I’m sharing some of the more hilarious tidbits below; mostly from the earlier pages because, as I get older, it gets more embarrassing. And yes, I did write “Dear Diary” before each entry in the first diary.
By the way, it is absolutely SHOCKING how horrible my spelling (and penmanship was). We’re talking I could barely read half the stuff because my writing was so bad. I couldn’t spell for anything. Who would have thought I’d end up being such a writerly grammar-freak?! I’ve spared you the horribleness and translated the writing for you:
“Right now I am watching Punky Brewster, the dog is lost. And after Punky is Small Wonder and then Family Ties is on then Alf then Cheers.”
Woo hoo to early 90s TV. And to the times when I had nothing better to do it than watch it. Also, I never watched Cheers? Especially when I was 8! Plus, I wasn’t allowed to watch Family Ties. Not sure why.
“Tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and she doesn’t like My Little Ponies and we got her one. What should we do?”
Gosh, life was tough, right? Also, who the eff doesn’t like My Little Ponies? I wish I knew whose birthday this was.
“Yesterday my dog was crying because today the dog my dog is related to is coming over and they got a new dalmatian. What do I do?”
How on Earth did I figure my dog was crying? I do kind of remember the dalmatian being mean to her though.
“Yesterday was Thanksgiving… Beth and I even got to drink out of wine glasses.“
Awesome!!! That’s like totally the most exciting thing EVER.
“Beth is being so so so so mean. She’s calling me a jerk. When she’s one!”
Ew, first of all, we weren’t allowed to use the word “jerk” in my house, so hopefully my sister got in trouble for this. And I wonder what we were fighting about.
“Our septic system is wrong. We might not get to go to Water Country. What should I do?”
I vividly remember this day. It was my dad’s work outing to Water Country. And our septic system broke and we had to get a new one. We didn’t go to Water Country because my parents had to deal with this. I had NO idea what a septic system was; I just knew it was “wrong.”
“I still love Nick. He is my dream boy.”
OK, 9-year-old, Susie. I’m sure you totally knew who your dream boy was.
“Guess what? Peachy got put to sleep today. I am so so sad; I could cry all my life. I watched it all. She fell asleep on my leg. Now she’s in heaven. I loved her so much; she was my best friend.”
Saddest day EVER. Not even lying. Nothing this bad has happened to me since. It was the first time I saw my dad cry. And I STILL miss her all the time. I wasn’t lying when I said I could cry all my life.
“Here’s a picture of J.L. [Joey Lawrence]! I like him so much that I actually covered up a picture of Jason Priestly to put him here! Chelsee gave me a poster of Joey Lawrence! I’m going downstairs now to see when Blossom’s on!”
OK, really? I thought he was crazy hot. Ugh. And thanks Chels, for being such a fabulous friend even back then.