grown-up like party. ehhh.

My first friend in my group of close girlies I grew up with is engaged. I'm thrilled for her as I love her fiancee and think they're a really nice couple (though she does often forbid him to watch Sox games during dinner, and that's just wrong according to me). But I do love them together. So although I am against getting married so young, I have to say I approve of them and their relationship.

Sooo tomorrow night a couple of us are throwing her and her fiancee an engagement party. This is out first real adult party, meaning no beirut playing, jello shots, etc. and we're basically like wtf...how do we throw a party without drinking games? (IS this even possible? Because I'm not quite sure...I'll let you know tomorrow). We're trying to be all mature and grown-up like because gasp, parents will be there. And many of the people attending the party, we have never met before. In addition, most of the people attending the party are couples. Which leads my friends and I to believe we will be acting as hosts/servers/maids to a party full of couples. Can you say depressing? I'm already urging my fellow hostesses to come out and get drunk with me after. What? In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with going out and getting drunk after throwing your friend a very nice party to celebrate her happy engagement to her lovely boyfriend, especially when you are sickeningly single. So we will either be doing that, or sitting on the couch stuffing our faces with all the leftover party food crying about our pathetic lives. Once again, I'll let you know after the party.

The party is not at my apartment, but I will be cooking up a storm tomorrow to prepare for it. I am making a three-cheese fritatta (courtesy of Martha Stewart's chef, Pierre); a goat cheese and caramelized onion dip (courtesy of my mom); turkey, brie, and cranberry chutney quesadillas (courtesy of Martha); and a taco dip (courtesy of me...and my mom). When I was in middle school/high school, whenever I'd go to a friend's get-together or whatever, my mom would make me a taco dip to bring. My friends LOVED it. She eventually taught me to make it and it is pretty much the easiest thing in the world (note: my parents are gourmet chefs so I am shocked my mom can/will do something this easy). So easy in fact, I am really bored of making it and I could do it with my eyes closed (except for the time I bought the peach salsa instead of regular and poured it all over the dip...gross). But it's apparently soo good that Chelsee is asking to have it for her wedding cake when she gets married (my mom and I are going to make like a 10-layer one with a bride and groom on top). I asked if I should make it for the engagement party and then quickly said, "nah, not classy enough." Until I heard that the bride-to-be specially requested it. So taco dip I will be making.

Maybe I'll post some pics of my completed food creations tomorrow. If they look good. I still kinda wish the party was going to be like the last one Nina and I threw...Check out our fridge pics. Now our fridge is just filled with gourmet-ish food and no trashy alcohol. Sigh.


P.S. Nablopomo is ovahh, suckas. I think I only missed one day. And in my defense, I wasn't home at all that entire day (I was off doing more fun-like things that I didn't divulge). I think I try to post every day anyhow, sooo you probably won't see much change from me. I'm happy I met sooo many blogger friends during November, and I hope you all keep posting because I love reading you :)

sad songs to make you cry.

Sometimes I get obsessed with songs that are super depressing and sad. Umm yeah, I'm weird. I think probably lots of people do this though (right?? right??). A couple weeks ago I wrote about songs that make me happy and giddy, so now I'm going to write a list of the songs that make me sad. Yippee. Really, it's sad in a good way though. Does that make sense? Songs that really touch me and make me super emotional for whatever reason. Songs that are good for when I'm feeling down and just want to wallow in my sorrow. When I'm writing something or working on a project that involves a lot of personal emotion, I like to put super sad songs on and just make myself feel everything in the music, in my thoughts, and in my writing.

This list will probably be super cheesy, including many songs with super cheesy lyrics, but I'm in a kind of cheesy emotional mood, so I can't help it. I'm realizing that a lot of the songs have meaning because of my ex-boyfriend. Which might make me seem kind of pathetic. But a) he is what I know of love, and b) honestly, I count myself lucky that the saddest times in my life have had to do with a boy. As writers/artists/whatevers, I think we sometimes like to feel sad. It depresses me that I actually want to be sad, but I think it's important for us to face our emotions and attempt to understand them and be comfortable with them. Okayyy enough psychology talk. Anyway, all of these songs are fabulous and you should check them out, too. Especially if you want to feel sad. And really, who doesn't? Ha.

"Accidental Babies" by Damien Rice- I had this song on my iPod for a while but never listened to it. One night I was in bed and it came on and I was like "omg, prettiest song in the world" and I fell in love with it. The line that touches me the most, "Is he dark enough, enough to see your light?" because the ex wasn't at all emotional and didn't understand a lot about me.

"Like a Star" by Corinne Bailey Rae- I've never fought with anyone (besides small fights) until I was with my ex. Even my first bf and I were together 3 years and had maybe 2 arguments. While I accept some responsibility for me and the ex's fights (umm a tiny bit), I also saw how he fought with the people he loves and know it was part of his nature and not something that I could control. I tried to come to terms with this and this song was sooo how I felt about him. "Just like a star across my sky, just like an angel off the page. You have appeared to my life. Feel like I'll never be the same...Still I wonder why it is. I don't argue like this with anyone but you. We do it all the time. Blowing out my mind."

"Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy- Just a sweet, sorrowful song. "I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me. Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. Should have known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do." Side note: this song was on The Hills this week. You know, as Audrina is leaving Justin Bobby after he kisses some other chick in the bar. Sooo I have a feeling this song is gonna get big. And it's so so appropriate for Justin Bobby. How you can you not be sad by the ending of that relationship??? Right.

"Ocean Size Love" by Leigh Nash- Because I might take chances in love I maybe shouldn't. But what's life if you don't follow your feelings? "I know what I'm doing may be dumb. I know I should not be staring at the sun. But the thought of you leads me to temptation. It's the saying whatever side you're on...I see you right in front of me, as close as you can get. And I pray that you won't leave this daydream yet."

"Leave" by Matchbox 20- The ex had an amazing way of turning off his feelings, something I could never do. And while I recognized a lot was wrong with our relationship, I always thought we'd work through it. "It's amazing how you make your face just like a wall. How you take your heart and turn it off. How I turn my head and lose it all. And it's unnerving how one move puts me by myself...I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong. I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me. And I'm not saying we ever had the right to hold on. I just didn't want to let it get away from me..."

"Kidding Ourselves" by Stabilo- We kidded ourselves for like a year. All I needed was my cellphone and the knowledge I could take a taxi away from him. But then I'd be alone. "We're kidding ourselves, kidding ourselves, so what do you want from me? As long as there's a payphone and a taxi, I'm alright, because I can leave home. We're kidding ourselves, kidding ourselves, so what are you waiting for? Cause even with a fast car and a cellphone, I won't leave, cause I'd be alone..."

"Blossom" by Ryan Adams- Just look at the lyrics. This is one of my favorite songs in the world. I think a lot of us feel this way. "Without anyone to love you, what will you blossom into? Without anyone to hold you, how will you grow? And with no one to care for you, who knows...and in the shadows of the past where you're spinning so fast, it's hard to see it coming and it never lasts. And with nothing to judge your life by how will you know?

"If I am a Stranger" by Ryan Adams (the Follow the Lights version)- He never really knew who I was. "To tell the truth, it's hard enough without a lover, who you only want to hide your darkness from, so you don't let them down. If I am a stranger now to you, I will always be. I will always be...I will try and be there for you. If I can. What if I can't? " I could probably put almost every Ryan Adams song on this list...but I am restraining myself and only putting two.

"Warning Sign" by Coldplay- I don't know why this song affects me so much, but it does. I've always loved it, but when I heard it in The Last Kiss (gooood soundtrack!), it made me pretty much cry. When I hear it, I just sit and stare into space. "When the truth is, I miss you..."

"The Story" by Tristan Prettyman- Because I think he's missing out on a lot by not getting it together. I think he knows it too. "I'm the icing on the cake. I'm the secret ingredient you're missing. And I'm the sidewalk, but not complete. And I'm the reason that, baby, you're tripping on decisions you didn't make. I'm the chance you chose not to take. And I'm the one you wish you were kissing. Pray for clear skies tonight. You better start wishing."

"Pieces" by Rascal Flatts- So true. Everything Rascal says is true. They are amazing. "I don't want to see you anymore. I'm just not strong. I love it when you're here, but I'm better when you're gone. I'm certain that I've given and oh, how you can take. There's no use in you looking, there's nothing else for you to break. Baby, please release me. Let my heart rest, in pieces."

"Seamless" by Christopher Jak- Love this man and his lyrics. "All you want now is so much more than you've got, you want everything."

"Anna Begins" by the Counting Crows- For when you think your feelings for the friend you've been hooking up with might be turning into something more. But you can't explain it. And he can't either. So you just don't talk about it. Le sigh. "It does not bother me to say this isn't love. Because if you don't wanna talk about it then it isn't love. And I guess I'm gonna have to live with that. But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey, or something in between...And then I start to think about the consequences."

"Brothers on a Hotel Bed" by Death Cab For Cutie- The piano playing is soo beautiful, especially in the beginning of this song. The song's about growing older with the one you love and realizing how you're changing in their eyes. And how you sleep like brothers on a hotel bed instead of like lovers. Super depressing. And I hope I don't end up like this..."You may tire of me as our December sun is setting cause I'm not who I used to be. No longer easy on the eyes, these wrinkles masterfully disguise...cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides, like brothers on a hotel bed."

"Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Stars- This sums up how I feel about my ex-boyfriend. "I'm not sorry I met you, I'm not sorry it's over, I'm not sorry there's nothing to say."

"Sunken Treasure" by Wilco- I daze out during this song. Jeff Tweedy's voice is so mournful, yet comforting. Plus, I love when he sings "I am so out of tune with you" out of tune. And "music is my savior" is basically a line I love. Wilco reminds me of my dad, too, which makes them extra special to me.

"Make This Go On Forever" by Snow Patrol- This song made me really sad when the ex and I first broke up. As much as I hate to admit it, he taught me soo much, made me such a better person, and made me feel true love. I don't think he realizes this. A lot of my changes didn't take place until we were apart for a while. I don't necessarily like the way he did it, but it worked. "The first kiss and the first time that I've felt connected to anything. The weight of water, the way you taught me to look past everything I have ever learned. The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love." All of the lyrics in this song are powerful.

"Nothing Lasts for Long" by the Samples- I used this quote in my senior bio in my high school yearbook, and I still love it. "Maybe nothing lasts forever, not the mountains or the sea. But the times we had together, they will always be with me." The Samples got me through high school.

"Stop This Train" by John Mayer- Makes me really sad when I think about life, growing up, and my parents getting older. "Once in a while, when it's good it'll feel like its should. And they're all still around and you're all safe and sound. And you don't miss a thing. Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark. Singing stop this train. I want to get off and go home again."

"The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore" by James Morrison- You can give everything you have, but that doesn't mean it's right. "Well I can't explain why it's not enough, cause I gave it all to you. And if you leave me now, then just leave me now. It's the better thing to do. Well it's time to surrender, it's too long pretending. There's no use in hiding when the pieces don't fit anymore..."

"Absence of the Sun" by Duncan Sheik- You can't pretend to be friends when you still love each other just because you're afraid of the pain you'll feel from ending it for good. "I don't want to feel this way, no. I don't want to say I'm just a friend. I don't want to wait around here cause you don't want to feel no pain again. We just lie about. As we become shadows of ourselves."

"All I Can See" by Brendan James- This guy is so amazing. And the last lines of this song touch me soo much. Get his 4-song EP; it seriously rocks. This song doesn't make me sad per say, just emotional. "I want to know where the strength of a person lies, in their past or their future? Is it in the way that they hurt or they love themselves or is it all an illusion? I want to crawl from this skin that we're painted in, body please let it give. I want to find the creator of all good things and ask what it means to live.

So are you wicked depressed yet?? Sorry :x Seriously though, I highly recommend all of these songs and artists. But I'm done with sad songs for the evening...going to pump some JT or something. So I don't cry myself to sleep. Kidding, obviously. But it is bedtime...work, party planning, and cooking tomorrow.

tis' the season for nothing.

While responding to an e-mail asking what weekends I am free for a holiday get-together, I realized how truly lame my life is right now. I pretty much listed every weekend night in December as potential for me. Then, in an attempt to save my dignity, I added on "I am in the process of making some plans, so the sooner we figure it out, the better" HA! It's really true though. I am trying to get some dates straightened out. Like what day my mom and I are going to get together to make Christmas cards. Yeah. OK. So, I have no job, which means I have no work party. And I guess I just don't know too many people throwing holiday parties or anything this year. Or I'm just not invited to them. I feel like people are constantly talking about how busy this time of year is that they purposely make plans for before or after the holidays. Maybe? Or maybe it's just me.

I know stuff will come up because it always does. But right now it feels strange to see my gCal so empty for the month of December. I don't do well when my calendar is so empty.I like to at least have the illusion that I'm busy, busy. It keeps me motivated. And once I'm done with school, what am I going to do with myself. I need a job, like woah.

Too tired to continue. More later.

i don't sleep. i eat. and talk.

I've got a lot going on right now and haven't been getting nearly enough sleep. Such is the life of a final semester graduate student, I suppose. I have a big project due tomorrow and have been up late working on it. I think it's pretty damn good and I'm not too worried about our grade. That said, I hate group work, but I'm learning that I can work with pretty much anyone no matter how much they annoy me, stress me out, make me wonder what the eff they're doing, etc. So that's kind of comforting. I have successfully kept my cool and smiled through so many situations where I just want to flip out. Let's just say me and my fellow grad students? Not so much on the same page. But that's fine, I can appreciate them and their oddities.

I really haven't stopped eating a ton since Thanksgiving and probably should slow it down a little, and start working out more. Today I had to go out to lunch with my classmates so we could work on our project. And then tonight I got some dinner with Sas. She is my only friend who will eat Indian food (besides my dad), so we went to Rani, a fabulous Indian restaurant in Coolidge Corner. For some reason, we were served extremely quickly and, because we are pigs, we also ate really fast. Soo since we weren't quite done with our discussions (what didn't we talk about??), we decided to go to Finale for dessert. Now, Finale came to Coolidge Corner probably a year ago. And when it did, I went absolutely crazy claiming "I am going to be here every single night!!!" Yeah, tonight was my first time. But it was awesome and I can't wait to go back (within the next year, ha). Sas and I split the tiramisu (how romantic) and each had a delicious toddy coffee. I had the Mexican coffee with Kahlua. Exactly what I needed on a nice, chilly night like tonight.

While out, I realized I had completely forgotten about Panera, another place I claimed I would go to every single day, and have been to a total of one time since it opened. Sad, considering I legit live 2 seconds away. Then again, I need to stop eating so much. Really. I do.

I've decided that I don't get my work done and I don't sleep enough because I spend too much time talking. Whether it's in person or on the phone or through e-mail, I need to learn to just shut up. I think the fact that I talked to Chelsee on the phone for 5 hours the other night says a lot about my issues. 5 hours is ridiculous, but I think we properly justified it by the realization that we hadn't talked in 1.5 days (the horror!) and had a lot to catch up on. Tonight when I got home I talked to my roomie for 2 hours and then was on the phone for another 2. And all of the sudden it was 1:30 a.m. And my project was staring at me with evil eyes. Sometimes catching up with friends feels soo much more important than anything in the world. Especially sleep. And schoolwork. Maybe not so much as eating. But oftentimes, you can talk and eat at the same time. As long as you don't talk with food in your mouth. I hate that. OK, I'm tired. That's wayy evident.

the shopping has officially begun.

I finally started my Christmas shopping. Online. I might just be with Sas on the whole, do all your shopping online thing. Not because I dislike Christmas shopping or because I don't like the crowds in malls, but because it's soo convenient. While I'm in the middle of working on editing or writing a piece, I can cruise over to any website I want and purchase whatever I want. And then a couple of days later my purchases arrive on my doorstep. And it's almost like Christmas for me right then and there because I get to open the boxes and see what my purchases are like. Not to mention, I get crazy Amazon credit card points if I shop on Amazon.com.

The only problem with online shopping is that it's way too easy to just throw a few items for yourself into the shopping cart as well. I mean, as I was purchasing my sister's pajamas from Victoria's Secret, I couldn't help but notice a ton of things I wanted/needed/greatly desired. And I mean, the more I buy, the more points I get on my Angels Card. And if you purchase enough stuff you get free shipping. And if you get a few more things you can get a free tote bag. With free samples. You cannot turn that offer down. It just keeps going. It's really way too easy to just throw virtual items in a shopping cart. And I love it. I'm a good person, I deserve gifts. Right? Thank you.

Does anyone else have an extremely difficult time trying to decide what to get their dad for holidays? I just feel as though my dad has everything he wants (that I can afford) and other than that, he asks for books about HTML and JAVA (wahoo) and random software programs (yawn). I always get him a nice stylish shirt (either Polo, Nautica, or Tommy) because he really trusts my taste (as he should), but how much does a 60-year-old man really enjoy getting a shirt on Christmas morning? About as much as I would enjoy getting a HTML book. So he's difficult. I like doing the "of the month club" things for him and have done one for cheese, one for beer, and one for rubs and spices (to put on meat for cooking, ha). They legit have an "of the month club" for everything. Seriously. No lie, they have one for teddy bears, neckties, lobster, and perfume. And they're expensive too. No messing around with these clubs. The coffee of the month club costs $75 for just 3 months. And what's the poing of being in an "of the month club" for only 3 months? Exactly.

I love shopping for my mom because she loves most everything I get her. I got her Ugg slippers last year and I've never seen her so happy. Every time she wears them she claims they were the best gift she's ever received. Awww. I need to find a way to outdo that this year. My sister and I bugged her to send us her list and she finally e-mailed one with this disclaimer: "You both know I 'want for nothing' ever since the two of you came into my life. On the other hand, I do love to open presents on Christmas morning." Adorable.

So, my shopping season has officially begun and I'm psyched for it. Um, right about now a full-time/non-freelance job would be sort of nice. I am completely done with graduate school in 3.5 weeks and then I have absolutely no excuse. Eeek. Whatever, I will not let Christmas suffer because of my joblessness. Now, getting back to Sephora.com, I've got some deals to find!

and tomorrow's monday.

My favorite things about this weekend:

-When my dad made me a pomegranate martini on Thanksgiving and I had to have him re-make it because it was legit all Grey Goose with a splash (at most) of juice. Everyone laughed and made fun of me as my dad claimed, "we don't know what 'too strong' means in this family!" Excuse me for not being in the mood to get ridiculous on one martini when I was 20 minutes away from having blueberry champagne (delish!) and wine with dinner. And like my sister said, "the last thing we need is Susie blacking out on Thanksgiving 2007...the last thing she'll remember is dancing on the counter and us telling her to put her shirt back on." With my luck, something like that would totally happen. I'll never be invited back.

-When we asked my mom about the 5 covered dishes that were on the counter right before we ate Thanksgiving dinner. "Oh, they're leftovers," my mom said. How is it possible to have leftovers before you even eat dinner?? Still can't figure that one out. But I do know that I got to take a bunch back to Boston, so I'm OK with that.

-When my sister and her boyfriend got me addicted to online Boggle. And when they went home to Chicago and called me at 3 a.m. on Friday because they saw my name signed on in the Boggle room. I was worried something was wrong when I saw her calling me so late, but when I picked up she said, "Sues...are you playing Boggle right now???" Ummm maybe. Reason #8592345 I choose not to start playing Facebook's Scrabulous.

-When my dad gave me more jelly fruit slice candies. He has, no lie, given me a package of them the last 4 times I've been home. I'm starting to get a little confused as, yes they're delicious, but why? My mom said he makes sure to go in the candy store every time they're visiting Maine just to buy them for me. I don't remember ever expressing any great deal of excitement over jelly fruit slices, but I do think it's very sweet of him. And I'm sure I'll manage to eat them.

-When, once back in Boston, we had to call my mom to get a phone tutorial on how to open a bottle of champagne because Chelsee and Nina hadn't opened one before. And the last time I did, I almost took someone out. My mom had really explicit and helpful instructions...Like I said, my family drinks a lot. Ha. And when I gave a really lame toast because I feel like you should always toast when you drink champagne. Correct?



On another note, this is what I really want for Christmas. Anyone? Pretty please?




Chloe Heloise Bag


Would it be bad if I said I reallllly miss having a puppy cuddling with me right now? Because I do. It's going to be hard sleeping tonight. Waaa, I'm never happy.

Tomorrow's Monday. It's not going to be a fun week.

puppy love. sometimes.

One more night of dogsitting. I know I haven't shut up about it, but it's honestly running my life right now. It's making me seriously not want children because I cannot live like this. But, as I was telling my mom, at least with kids, you can bring them home and put them to bed for the night. Dogs, not so much. They won't sleep until I sleep.

They were pretty well-behaved at my parents' house, but once we got back to theirs, they went psycho. The puppy has been constantly attacking the older dog. I know she's just playing, but poor Cissy is 13 years old and just wants to be left alone. Cissy is not feeling well today. I know this because she wouldn't eat her freshly cooked chicken breakfast, and I can hear her stomach making weird noises (please dear lord, do not have any accidents), and Mitzi has been jumping on her/biting her/dragging her around by her bandana all day. I feel really bad for her, but I can't spend my whole day breaking up fights (now I know how my parents felt!) and I need to get my own stuff done.

Finally, when I was at my wits end, I looked over on the bed and saw this:

That's Mitzi cuddling with poor little sick Cissy. How adorable is that? Then Mitzi realized I was looking at her:

And proceeded to start running around, jumping on Cissy. Sighhh at least it was peaceful for a moment. Again, now I know how parents feel when they're ready to sell their children on the black market, and then catch a moment of pure sweetness and realize how much they love them. It's the little things.

That said, tomorrow evening I will be getting the hell out of here and can resume walking from my desk to the couch without having anything follow me. I know that when I get home, I'm going to miss them. But I'm not going to miss showering in peace and quiet. And I'm going out tonight. I have spent about 80 hours straight with them and need a little break.

And then, I promise, I will stop sounding like a new parent...or a crazy, obsessed dog person. Children and puppies are still a long way off in my future.

this time. a meme.

My second meme in a week. Ooh yay. I am seriously lacking sleep and am extremely out of it right now, and since this is pretty mindless, it's perfect for me. Thank you, Nicoleantoinette. I have almost 3,500 songs in my iTunes and lots of random stuff, so this should be interesting.

MEME Rules:
1. Put Your itunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Icky Thump by The White Stripes

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Sleep All Day by Jason Mraz (omg, that is so sad for me)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Mouth by Bush (umm interesting)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
On Top by The Killers (nicee, I like that)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
If You Find Her by Future of Forestry (no clue...)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I Just Don't Know What to do With Myself by The White Stripes (wow, this is making my whole life sound so pathetic)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Control by Mute Math (does that mean I'm in control or I'm controlling?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
You Get Me by Michelle Branch (aww cute again)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Tomorrow by Ryan Adams (oooh true)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Little Demons by Julian Velard

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Outer Space by Until June

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Almost Honest by Josh Kelley (veryy interesting)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Pretend You're Alive by Love Drug (sooo sad again)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Now That You're Gone by Ryan Adams

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Please by Tristan Prettyman (hmmm)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Angels by Robin Thicke (awww)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Stop This Train by John Mayer (omg, my life seriously sucks. ha)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Wake Up by Hilary Duff (hahaha that would be so horrible. And yes I do have a few of the Duffsters songs on my iPod. Sue me)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Answers & Questions by Earlimart

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Balancing the World by Eliot Morris (go me)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Friend of the Devil by Counting Crows (ehhh, does that make me the devil?)

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
This Time by Christopher Jak

That was funnn. I would totally tag people, but I'm pretty sure I might already be typing this while sleeping so I think I might just not. But you should all do it...because it's fun. I promise.

Let's pray the dogs sleep more than 4 hours tonight. Two more nights. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

then again, i'm thankful every day.

I obviously have to do a "what I'm thankful for post" because it's Thanksgiving (well, it's actually over, but as far as I'm concerned, until I go to bed it's still here. I always date my posts back since I do most of my writing at 3:00 a.m. So, technically it's Friday right now, but as far as you're concerned it's still Thursday evening. So when you see me say things like "I'm soooo tired," and it looks like I'm writing it at 11:30 p.m., it's probably really 4:00 a.m. I suck at going to bed.)

My family has this tradition where we go around the table saying what we're thankful for before we can eat Thanksgiving dinner. We're not religious at all, so I guess this is kind of like our grace. We make fun of it constantly (one year my mom made us hold hands! And my dad and male neighbor were sitting next to each other; it was totally awkward), but then when we go to do it, I always feel like crying. We all say such nice things about each other and our lives; I know I'm so lucky in so many ways; I can't help getting super emotional.

My list of cliche and sappy what I'm thankful for's. Seriously though, I'm not going to make stuff up just to be original...deal with it:

-My family. Duh. I am constantly saying nice things about them here, but I really do consider myself incredibly lucky. I don't have a huge extended family that lives close by, so holidays are pretty much the 4 of us (and any bfs who happen to be hanging around) and I lovee how low-key it is. Especially since I don't live at home anymore, I really enjoy coming back and just hanging out and relaxing like the old days. And despite a few minor dysfunctions, we all have pretty nice relationships with each other and enjoy being together. A lot of families can't say that.We have our neighbors over every Thanksgiving and they are seriously the best people in the world. I've lived in this house since I was born and they've always lived across the street and are pretty much my grandparents. And since I don't have any actual grandparents, I really appreciate their company and love.

-The fact that I live in Boston. Honestly, sometimes when I'm walking around the city, I just stop and think about it and am amazed. Not everyone gets the opportunity to live in such a nice city and have so many opportunities every day. I love that I can walk absolutely anywhere in the whole city, plus neighboring cities and towns, from my apartment. I'm also super thankful for my apartment (um, and the people I pay my rent to should be thankful for me). I can pretty much barely afford it, but it is soo worth it (T stop is across the street, apt. is a nice size, they are generous with the heat, we have a trash room next to our apt. so we don't even have to bring our trash down...seriously, it's the little things. Not bringing trash down make me really really happy). Sure, some of the people in Boston totally suck, but when it comes down to it, Boston is a historical and beautiful place and I honestly love it with all my heart.

-My completely amazing friends. I sound so freaking cliche, but I honestly feel really lucky to know the people I do. Most of my friends are childhood friends and many I have been friends with since 2nd grade...some even earlier! Growing up and through high school, I lived pretty much within 5 minutes of 5 of my closest friends. And now, in Boston, we still live within 5 minutes of each other. I think it's invaluable to be friends with people who have watched you grow and change throughout life, but unfortunately many people grow apart throughout college and beyond. We all split up through college, spent 4 years apart, and then made our way back to Boston. And I am sooo lucky (I keep saying lucky...maybe I'm just smart) that I still love them soo much and wouldn't trade them for anyone else. And I obviously really treasure my newer friends too...aka mostly Sara. And my favorite UNHer Kyle. Some people it just feels right with.

-That I have passions in life. I think it's really important to have something you love in life. Something that nobody can ever take away from you. Something that makes you who you are. Something that makes you incredibly happy no matter what the rest of your life is like; even if you are completely alone, without friends, family, a significant other, etc. I have three things that allow me to be perfectly content no matter what my life situation is. I am pretty much euphoric if you give me a pen and paper (or maybe a computer with Word) and let me write. I will also be 100% satisfied if you give me a book or a magazine to read. And I feel entirely in my element if I'm in the kitchen cooking. I can't even describe how amazing it feels that I can actually make a living doing the things I am most passionate about (well, besides cooking...maybe some day). And once again, I have to thank my parents for encouraging me and allowing me to find what I love in life. Obviously the whole cooking thing is still relatively new and I'm not anywhere near a professional chef yet, but I do have the best teachers in the world. And my apple pie was pretty darn good tonight. Yay.

OK, I have like a billion more things I'm thankful for (legit, I could list them all night long), but you're probably bored and I'm tired. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night with the pups, and even those 4 involved Mitzi sprawled out on top of me, and Cissy snoring next to me (she has major sinus problems, the poor thing). I ate far too much today and I'm sure I'll do more of the same tomorrow. I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving :) And furthermore...let the shopping begin!!

and it continues.

Obviously the eating continued today. As did the family time. Thankfully, the dogs slept from 2:30 a.m.-8:30 a.m., basically a miracle. And, so far they have not been terrors in my parent's house (only one accident so far, yay!). They also had $200 flowers from Winston's delivered to my parents with a card that says "Happy Thanksgiving...Love, Cissy and Mitzi" (haha!). The only problem I encountered was when I wanted to take a shower. The dogs would not leave my side and followed me upstairs and into the bathroom. When my mom brought them downstairs, they cried. She tried to convince me to let them stay with me while I showered, but come on, I think I deserve 15 minutes of privacy.

I hate to say it, but it actually feels a little bit nice to be so needed. Even if it is by dogs. The last time I was this needed was when my ex got back surgery and I traveled from Boston to NH every few days because he "needed" me to be with him. These dogs need me, but they give it all back in 100% love (except for the occasional accident). They don't whine/complain/bitch because I am talking on the phone or doing work instead of paying full attention to them. And they are amazinggg snugglers.

This was the first year I didn't go into downtown the night before Thanksgiving and I had absolutely no desire to. I wanted to spend time with my family, instead. Family time in my household basically means sitting in the kitchen talking/cooking/eating/playing board games. Thank God my sister's boyfriend fits in pretty amazingly well with us and doesn't think we're all huge dorks because we chose to spend 4 hours tonight playing the Jeopardy board game (he was actually the most enthusiastic of us all) and making lame jokes about Alex Trebek. Tomorrow will probably either be Scrabble or Boggle. I unfortunately left Balderdash at my apartment.

We had a huge lobster dinner, which felt more summery than Thanksgivingy, but who cares...I am always down for lobster, especially when tomorrow is going to be filled with turkey, stuffing, etc. We had my pumpkin chocolate chip squares for dessert, which everyone loved (yay!). My apple pie looks OK for tomorrow, but it was not easy to make. Why? I had to bake it at my aunt's who doesn't really cook; ie had NO spatula (how is this possible??) and no ingredients. I basically had to bring flour, sugar, and all that from my apartment. She does, however, have at least 9 containers of bread crumbs from Legal Seafood in the fridge, and at least 14 sticks of butter that have been opened. And at least 20 packages of batteries in the fridge as well. And wine everywhere.

Tomorrow will be another family-filled day and then our Thanksgiving with the fam (all 4 of us+sister's boyfriend) and our two neighbors who are pretty much family. I love the low-keyness of it all, and my mom's obsessive need to make everything perfect.

Umm make that two accidents. Damn it. I'm going to bed.

let the eating begin.

My Thanksgiving holidays have officially begun. As have my dogsitting duties. Basically, it goes like this...my aunt and uncle planned their trip and then "whoops, it's over Thanksgiving...you weren't planning on doing anything right?" I mean, my family lives 25 minutes away, but yeah I was planning on spending Thanksgiving alone in my apartment this year. Right. Also, my sister hasn't been home for Thanksgiving for 3 years and is home this year. And won't be home for Christmas. So, I really want to spend some time with her and her boyfriend. So, I'm going home for two nights, and bringing the dogs with me. Parents are not overly excited to have a rambunctious puppy in their house, but they are dealing with it so they can spend time with their lovely daughter. And my aunt has compensated me aplenty, so I am not at liberty to complain. But I might still a little (only when they wake me up at 5 a.m. to play outside).

Tonight the family came into the city and we dined at the Top of the Hub. The restaurant is 52 floors up in the Prudential Center and is supposed to offer fabulous views of Boston. Which it does. I've been there several times and it is extremely romantic and beautiful. Umm yeah. We walked in tonight and it looked like the shades were pulled on the windows. The fog was so thick we couldn't even see a single city light. Kind of sad, because, although the food is quite good, the views are totally what that place is all about.

I should have said when "I" walked in, actually. After completely stressing, driving my stuff back and forth to my aunt's, going to the obnoxiously crowded grocery store, and running through the streets in the rain in high heels to get to the restaurant for our reservation (I was told not to be late and it's kind of a hike to and from the T), my family walked in a full 40 minutes after our scheduled meeting time. Yeah, I was not a happy camper. And I needed a drink badly. So, screw the whole never drinking again thing, because I had an absolutely amazing dirty martini with Grey Goose (clearly, the other night's Grey Goose did not scar me for very long). And wine. At first I thought going home for a few days would be cleansing for me. Then I remembered how much my family drinks. Yay. Although they normally don't get out of control like I did the other night. Thank the lord.

Dinner was delicious...baby spinach salad with roasted walnuts, goat cheese, pears, and port wine reduction lemon dressing, yum. And spaghettini with braised baby clams, pancetta, garlic, and roasted tomatoes, sooo amazingly good. And creme brule, yesss. It's only Tuesday and I've already been eating like it's Thanksgiving. It's gonna be a long week. But a deliciously good one.

Tonight I'm sleeping with the dogs at my aunt's beautiful house. Then tomorrow I'm getting up to bake an apple pie and pumpkin chocolate chip squares and then packing the dogs in the car and heading for home. I'll definitely get some new pics of the pups, but if you want to see them in all of their cuteness, check out my old post. Trust me, they do not always look this calm. At all. But I do love them.

Oh, and check this post out if you want to see what dogsitting consists of for me...this was when there was only one dog. Now there are two. And the puppy is a bit psycho.

happy holidays to me.

The other day, I realized that this will be my first time spending the holiday season as a single girl in 6 years. Wow. Granted last year was not really official and my relationship was still a big mess, the ex and I still bought each other nice presents, we still went Christmas shopping together, he still came to my family friend's Christmas Eve party, etc., etc. Basically we were still a couple. One thing I can say about my ex is his amazing present-buying skills. In the 2.75 years we dated, I got 3 Coach bags, a Movado watch, Tiffany's jewelry, various North Face jackets and products, and stockings stuffed with lipgloss, candy, and magazines. And I won't even start to list the fabulous gifts I bought him. Clearly there is more to life and relationships than present buying. Gosh, who knew.

It's a bit of a strange feeling to be single at this time of year, but even stranger that it took me until a week before Thanksgiving to have it even cross my mind. And to realize I really don't care. The only thing I'll really miss is the potentially fun present giving...and to be honest, I'm pretty sure my parents will have that one covered enough. Not to mention, it will be nice not to have to spend the money I'd usually be dishing on a bf and his family. And the present buying stress (parents are difficult! 12 year-old sisters are fun).

It's really scary to me that I've been in a relationship for 6 years (well 2 relationships to be more specific) and to only now be the happiest I've ever been. I am so much on my own schedule these days; something I have never really done since leaving home. College was one endless hang out session with that bf. And as long as I've been in Boston, I've had the stress of commuting to the ex's to hang out, making sure I had clothes/makeup/schoolwork/etc. packed (he lived downtown and right near my work and school), and stressing about when I had to be where and how I was going to carry my stuff from the T to his apt or to work and home. It's also a funny feeling to realize how happy you "thought" you were versus how happy you are now. I've always thought of myself as an independent girl, but I'm learning that I really haven't been since high school...and now the past 7 months. And honestly, I freaking love it.

Sure this holiday season will probably get a bit lonely at some points, but I'm not too worried. I have fabulous friends and a busy enough schedule that I'm sure I'll be quite content. And sometimes a boy who isn't a boyfriend is a lot more fun than a boy who is a boyfriend. I think I'm mostly excited though, because I'm really starting to learn what I want and what I need in life and love...and when I do get into another relationship, it's going to be so different than anything I've had before. And I'm pretty sure I'd rather have someone who's loving and generous with his feelings than a Coach purse anyway.

Happy holidays to me!

i hate that girl.

Last night was one of those nights where you wake up the next morning (or afternoon...or early evening) and say "Wow. I am never drinking again." Only it was probably even worse than that. I was on my couch for the entire day today (still here now in fact) and did pretty much nothing, but feel angry at myself for being "that girl" last night. You know the one. The one who you look at and say "Oh my god. What a mess." I hate that girl so much. And whenever I see her, I make fun of her and shake my head in disgust. I don't like being her.

It started off low-key enough. Sara and I hanging out at my apartment, catching up and having some Grey Goose and sodas. We wanted to get an early start because the bar we wanted to go to gets really crowded. We were there at 9:30 and there was already a line all the way down the building. But we decided to suck it up and wait and got in about half an hour later.

Before we left my apartment we decided we would not be having any shots as we didn't want the night to get out of control. That's an easy enough decision to make, right? You'd think so, until the bartender looks at you and says, "you look like you need a shot." We laughed and told him no, we didn't want any. But he started making them anyway and told us "they're on the house." Isn't there something just wrong about refusing free alcohol? Probably. So we took them (FYI: whatever kind of shot it was was sooo good. cherry birthday cake?? I think that's what he told me). And then he gave us more. I'm not quite sure how many more. But enough to have me dancing and falling on the floor. Enough that when the rest of our friends arrived, I don't really remember it. And legitimately not remembering half of the things that occurred the rest of the evening. I really really hate myself after nights like last night.

Remember when I was bragging about my amazing drunk contact taking out skills? Yeah. When I woke up this morning, both contacts were in the L portion of the case. I got through a full 4 days of not getting my left and right contacts mixed up. Go me.

I think I had at least 7 straws in my drinks all night long. And if someone said something about it, I would say, "What?? I like straws!"

Allegedly Sas has some photo evidence of the evening (did not realize photos were taken). I think I probably don't really want to see them.

Thank God for a comfortable couch. Jerry Maguire and The Wedding Planner on TV. And finally feeling like a normal human being at around 5:00 p.m. Kind of. And having friends to reassure me that "You were bad but not soooooo bad. Just really bad." And now I will sit here and watch the Patriots kick some Buffalo butt. Two touchdowns in the first like 5 minutes?? Umm yeah.

I think I probably owe Chelsee an especially big thank you for keeping me under control as much as she could last night and making sure I didn't do anything I would really regret (more than I already did). And for filling me in on everything today...even the things I didn't want to hear.

And Sara...we will never be that girl again. It's just not cute anymore.

i'm random.

My day was super boring and consisted of doing work, going on a walk to pick up my contacts, deciding it was frigging cold outside and returning home. Tonight was lazy and extremely girly and definitely nothing anyone would want to hear about. So I figured I wouldn't have anything exciting to blog about (not that that usually stops me), but Katelin tagged me in my first ever meme sooo this blog post will actually have a point. Yay!

I'm supposed to list 7 random facts about myself, then tag 7 people, and leave a comment in their blog to let them know.

So, here's some randomness about me:

(1) I hate hate hate monkeys and everything involving them. I already disliked them, but then I witnessed a really disturbing scene at a zoo about 6 years ago (use your imagination) and now I cannot even stand the thought of them. My friends love to tease me and tell the story (I don't like to talk about it), but they pretty much are all creeped out by monkeys now too. Yay.

(2) I've never broken a bone in my life. Never gotten the flu. Never had strep. Never had the chicken pox. Can pretty much count the number of times I've gotten sick. I come from a family of healthy immune systems and for that I am very very thankful. My body also gives me fair warning if I'm starting to get sick and I always know exactly how to fight it off.

(3) I love music more than anything but I am the least musically inclined person in the world. I took piano lessons for 11 years and pretty much sucked. My lessons were basically really expensive therapy sessions with my teacher. I played flute for 4 years and didn't learn a thing. My sister used to scream at me when I sang. I tried playing guitar last week and as soon as I learned a chord, I would immediately forget it. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but now I have a huge appreciation and respect for people who can do music'y things. And I'm jealous.

(4) I never went through a really rebellious stage or a rough time with my parents growing up. My parents joke that they're still waiting for me to "turn bad." But if anything, I'm getting even closer with them. I talk to my mom pretty much every day and often for an hour at a time. And they weren't the kinds of parents who are bff's with their kids and let them do anything. They were strict and hard on me, but I respected them for it. And while we obviously had some arguments, I learned soo much from watching my sister screw up. I'm definitely the "good" daughter.

(5) My friends joke that, though I am super girly, I drink like a man. And that includes my coffee- always black. And my alcohol- really dark beer, gin and tonic, tequila shots. Though I've recently developed a taste for Grey Goose and soda.

(6) I am addicted to lipgloss. It started when I was 6 with chapstick, moved on to Bonne Bell, and is now stuck on Lancome Juicy Tubes, Maybelline Shiny.Licious, Philosophy, Bigelow, and Tutti Dolci. I have literally hundreds of them, including 10 on my bedside table right now. My dad once referred me to a website for people with lipbalm addiction. I would do anything to have a LipSmacker in coconut cake or cinnamon sugar, but they are discontinued flavors. Seriously depressing.

(7) Whenever I'm feeling down, watching any of the Muppet movies will cheer me up. Love them.

Now I'm supposed to tag this to 7 people. Soooo here's who I'm tagging. You don't have to do it if you don't want to...and chances are you might have already done it, since it looks like everybody and their mom has. But do it if you want. I'll do the comments in the morning...I am ridiculous when it comes to this whole sleeping thing.

Sas at www.sasidy.com
Chels at http://seeleigh.blogspot.com/ (she abandons her blog and needs to get back on it)
ToKisstheCook at http://tokissthecook.blogspot.com/
Shelley at http://shelleyrantsaway.blogspot.com/
Michelle at http://www.gooseberried.com/starboard/
Peter DeWolf at http://www.islemadame.com/blog/blogger.html
Loo at http://loosquared.blogspot.com/

music makes me happy.

If you know me, you know it doesn't take much to put me in a ridiculously good mood and get me really excited. Umm not much at all. Case in point: Last week at the Christmas Tree Shop, Chelsee held up the DVD called Big Bird Goes to Japan and made a joke about it. I legit jumped over bins of stuff and practically fell while grabbing for the DVD and yelling "ohmygodthatsmyfavoritemovieintheworld!!!" The look on Chelsee's face was priceless. But seriously, I hadn't thought about that movie in forever and used to watch it non-stop when I was growing up. My dad traveled to Japan a lot so I loved watching Big Bird there (and how can you not love the part where everyone is saying "Ohayou" [good morning in Japanese] to him and he says "Ohio? I thought I was in Japan!"??? OK, I'm a huuuge loser. Stopping now. I promise I did NOT buy the DVD....though I might have come close).

Anyway, if I don't have lame stuff like that to put me in a good mood, music always really helps. I legit believe that music heals all...or at least can put you in a super ridiculously good mood. Or at least can make you dance around your bedroom all alone. Orrr maybe that's just me.

Here are the songs that always have the power to make me crazy happy:

"That's Life" by Michael Buble- I know this is really a Sinatra song, but Michael Buble makes me happy in general so him singing this song is the ultimate. How can you not be cheered right up with these lyrics?? "That's life. That's what all the people say. You're riding high in April. You're shot down in May. I know I'm gonna change that tune when I'm back on top in June...But I know one thing. Each time I find myself flat on this face, I pick myself up and get back in the race."

"Find a New Way" by Young Love- I just love the beats in this song and it's about dancing, so duh. Also an excellent working out song. Not that I know anything about that. But it's good for pilates too. "We'll find another way to dance. If you get the chance, you must dance, dance, dance."

"You Don't Know What Love is (You Just Do As You're Told)" by The White Stripes- With each new White Stripes album, I figure they can't be as good as the last one. But they always seem to get better and better. I just like this song a lot and I can't sit still when it's on, much like all of their other songs.

"Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind- This was my anthem summer before and after freshman year of high school. I had no idea it was all about drugs and just thought it was a super fun song. And it still is...minus the fact it's all about meth. "I believe in the sand beneath my toes. The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling. I believe in the faith that grows, and the four right chords can make me cry. When I'm with you I feel like I could die. And that would be alright, alright."

"I Wanna Love You Girl" by Robin Thicke and Pharrell- Besides the fact I want to marry Robin Thicke, I just think this song is fabulous. It basically repeats the same lines over and over: "Wanna love you girl" and "Oh, oh, oh," in different pitches, and I love it. You'll see why they stick to those lines when you hear the absolute cheesiness of the other lines..."And now my life is sweeter than berries...I guess if we have sex, our love will turn to wine." Yup. Or ummm "Big castle on the sea shore, with the Willy Wonka decor...How this sound: Mr. and Mrs. Skateboard" Told ya.

"Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John- I hate hearing people whistle in real life but the whistling in this song makes me happy. And I'm a huge fan of the lyrics. The first time I heard this song was when I saw them perform on Leno with Victoria Bergsman and I honestly thought it was a big joke. They were the most awkward people ever. I actually thought they may be slightly retarded and Leno was letting them perform on his show specially. But then I couldn't get the song out of my head and I realized how amazing Peter Bjorn and John and Victoria are. And that their weirdness fit the song quite well. Um, watch their performance and tell me it's not a little odd. Seriously, watch it. My basic conclusion is that Swedish people are freaking weird, but they make damn good music.

"Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel- When I was 4 or 5 years old I had a radio, but the only song I liked that they played on the radio was "Uptown Girl" (I was way too addicted to Wee Sing Silly Songs and stuff like that). So, I would sit on my bed with my radio and just go from station to station trying to find "Uptown Girl." Then I would sing and dance around my room (not much has changed) and be sooo happy that my favorite song everr was playing. I still get really happy when I hear it, though I do not constantly search the radio to find it anymore. I'm growing up. And come on, I can just hit play on my iPod anyway.

"Last night" by Diddy and Keyshia Cole- Who knows. Seriously, I'm not even a huge Diddy fan, but from the moment I first heard this song, I started smiling. It puts me in a good mood.

"Secret Smile" by Rascal Flatts- Another group who generally make me happy with every single thing they do. Their new album is seriously amazing and I did not think would even be able to come close to their last one. In love. This is an extremely cheesy song, but hey, what do you expect? "Love You Out Loud" also makes me reallllyyy happy. I had it as my ring tone at one point and I think it got a little out of control.

"Put Your Records On" by Corrine Bailey Rae- Makes me want to put my records on and dance. hehe. Seriously the whole album is amazing. Though "Like a Star" makes me cry, especially after Chels said it reminded her of me and my ex-boyfriend...story of our lives. But I'll save that for the sad song list.

"Newport Living" by Cute Is What we Aim For- Just love the lyrics...like all of them. "Everyone's a let down; it just depends on how far down they can go," "You are a sell-out but you couldn't even do that right" I think all of Cute's songs are just fun and happy. Yay.

Anything by Enrique Iglesias- OK, I realize this makes me a huge weirdo and extremely ridiculous, but I can't help it. I have actively tried to dislike Enrique and I cannot do it. I've watched his pathetic excuses for videos and made fun of them and him A LOT, and yet I am still obsessed with his music. I absolutely love "Escape," "Don't Turn Off the Lights," "Be With You," "Do You Know," "Push," his Spanish songs....See, I can't freaking stop.

OK that was kind of a lot. I have stuff I need to go get done. Like the work I've been slacking on. And the job applying I've been slacking on. Maybe I'll do a sad songs that make me happy list some other time when I need to slack again.

zzzzzz.

Too tired to post and I screwed up NaBloPoMo anyway. So I'm not even going to try to adjust the date because it's 3:45 a.m., which technically makes it Thursday. I had a super productive day today and a super productive class. Then I went to see the band formally known as My So-Called Friend play in Faneuil Hall (Shanghai Thrills now...check 'em out). Got home late and proceeded to talk to Chelsee on the phone for 2 hours. Despite the fact that we were at the show together. God only knows what we talk about but we never really run out of things to say. She's the one who has to get up for work in the morning...I can afford to sleep in a bit. Though I shouldn't. My work is getting a bit out of control at the moment.

I said I was too tired to post and then I did anyway. Ehhh. Bed.

i can see. kind of.

I went to the eye doctor today and basically my biggest nightmare came true. (OK, not really...I mean, I could be blind or something...or have cataracts. or glaucoma. or some other awful eye disease. but still). Not only have my eyes gotten worse since last year, but I now need a different prescription for each eye. Ughhh seriously? I'm not quite sure how this is going to work considering I am extremely irresponsible when it comes to wearing my contact lenses. Meaning, I wear them far longer than I'm supposed to (as in like 20 hours a day...and more than the recommended two weeks per pair). I don't clean them as well as I should. I sometimes sleep in them (I know. Horrible. But sometimes you just don't have a choice. Ya know). I'm pretty much an atrocious mess. So now I have to add one more thing to the mix: Making certain I keep the left lens in the L side of the case and the right lens in the R side of the case. The last thing I need is more complication in my life. On the plus side, I have an amazing talent for taking my contacts out properly when I come home ridiculously drunk at night. Now we will see just how good my talent is. My mom laughed when I complained to her about wearing 2 different lenses and said she's been doing it all her life. Me, my mom, and my sister are all worse in our left eyes...we wonder if it's hereditary.

I don't enjoy the eye doctor in general because I am very sensitive with my eyes. The obnoxious puffs of air are bad enough but today the lady put numbing solution in them and I honestly couldn't stop crying. I do really bad with eye charts because I psych myself out, memorize lines, and basically go crazy trying to give the "right" answer. I freak out that my eyes are getting worse and the doctor has to calm me down. But honestly, it's seriously scary that I'm 25 and have such poor vision. I always think about how screwed I (and a lot of us) would be without technology. What if nobody invented glasses?? Half of us wouldn't even be able to leave the house.

There's nothing I want more than Lasik eye surgery, but your eyes have to be at the same prescription for 2 years or something before you can get it. Soo clearly I am a long way off. I hate hate hate glasses and just realized that I don't think a picture even exists of me wearing mine. Because I suck in them. I actually have super cute Dolce ones that my mom got me because I promised I'd wear them...and I do...when I'm alone in my apartment. I wish I had a cute glasses face, but I do not.

On a positive note, I can see fabulously with my brand new contacts. To be honest, my vision is not that horrible; could be a lot worse. I just am really sensitive about it and the fact that it gets worse every single year :( Woe is me.

christmas is coming...uhh kind of.

There are 42 shopping days left until Christmas and my mom has officially set off the panic in me. She actually has been attempting to do this to since late September when she informed me that she needed my Christmas list right away. Umm, but my birthday just ended, I tried to explain. But she didn't care, she needed it immediately. So after another week of pestering me, she placed a pen in my hand and a pad of paper in front of me and demanded I write it. Two weeks later she informed she had completed her Christmas shopping.

A few nights ago she asked me if I had gotten my sister's present yet. Ummm no. I always get her pajamas from Victoria's Secret, but I haven't picked them out yet. And I have no clue what else I'm getting her. My mom said, "Well, I guess you're not planning on giving them to her when she comes home next week."
I know my sister won't be home for Christmas this year, but I kind of assumed I would just mail her gifts, not give them to her at Thanksgiving.
"Are you going to have her presents sent directly to her?" my mom asked.
I said no, that I woud have them sent to me first so I could wrap them together and then mail them to her.
"Wow, you better hurry then!" she told me.
"Mom, it's still early November," I tried to remind her.
"Yeah, but you don't understand how the mail is this time of year," she reminded me. Fine.

I called her last night and she didn't answer. A few minutes later she called me back saying "Sorry I didn't answer. My phone was in the kitchen and I was in the dining room." I asked her what she was doing in the dining room as we don't hang out in there very much.
"Oh, I'm just getting the dining room table ready."
"Umm for Thanksgiving?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"Getting it ready as in setting it?"
"Noo, there's just a lot to be done; I'm getting it ready."
OK. I have no idea how you get a table ready for a dinner besides setting it, and I'm still unclear as to why that has to be done 11 days before said holiday, but oh well.

At least someone is on top of these things...

On a side note, I kind of think I asked for a lot for Christmas, but I was put under such intense pressure that I just wrote down everything that came to my mind. I really hope I get my white North Face Denali fleece though all of my friends have already told me how stupid and impractical it is. My pink one has been bad enough...But I don't care; I still want it.



Also hope to get my new iPod. My mom was nice enough to let me borrow hers since mine died...but it's getting a little old having my own music mixed in with Rod Stewart and Andrea Bocelli.

And now that I've been incredibly greedy, I really need to get started on my own shopping. And make my momma proud.