Everyone loves a Boston girl. This is the story of one Boston girl's adventures in the city, in blogging, and in getting through those crazy 20-something years.

I'm a writer by trade. And by passion. I'm a lover of food, friends, and all things Boston. I listen to music pretty much 24/7 and idolize Martha Stewart. I love my job(s), my life, and this city. Follow me on Twitter! @Susie

Archive: December 2007

3 ghosts of christmas past.

Next time when you say on a Friday night, “Wow, I haven’t had any drama in my life lately,” don’t be surprised when on Saturday night you see the following at the bar you go to: a) a guy you lusted after in high school, b) a guy you may or may not have had a one-night rebound type thing with early in the summer, and c) the ex-boyfriend who you dated for almost three years and haven’t seen since May.

Sometimes I just like to laugh at my life. Because what else can I do? I almost cried when the third walked in, but then I sucked it up, smiled, and ended up having a fun night. “I knew we were going to run into each other sooner or later,” he said to me. And it’s true; I can’t believe it took until December, after we’ve both graduated and the night before we go home for Christmas for it to happen. And it was cool. Seriously. Life is funny like that.

And hey, now I have some material for my upcoming dating and relationship blog/column that I’ll announce soon. Thank God. Things were getting pretty boring there for a while. You knew that couldn’t last long.

looking back on new years past.

Last year I wrote about New Year’s resolutions and how much I enjoy them. I freaking love lists, goals, and things to work toward. What can I say? I guess I need structure in my life or nothing gets done. Also, there’s never any harm in making some resolutions. What’s the worst that can happen? You suck at life and break them all. Nobody dies (unless, of course, you’re resolving not to kill someone). I make goals for myself year round, but it is only at the new year that I make resolutions. My problem is that I often make resolutions and then completely forget to look back at them. My year got so crazy and so many things changed early on in 2007 that I didn’t even remember making resolutions. Oops. So, while I don’t have my list of 2008 resolutions ready quite yet, I thought I’d take some time to look back at last year’s list and see how I did without really even trying.

#1 Think about myself more and spending less time worrying about other’s feelings- Wow. Wow. Wow. I spent from January-May doing precisely the opposite of this resolution. And then from May on doing exactly it. Go me. I know it sounds mean, but trust me, I needed to do it. Ever since I was a kid I’d get these horrible guilty feelings and end up doing a lot of stuff for people I didn’t want to do because I’d “feel bad.” It wasn’t healthy and I started to realize this last year when I was sort of dating someone I wasn’t really into (slash I still wasn’t over the ex). I finally thought, why am I with someone just because I feel bad about hurting their feelings? So, I broke up with him and felt soooooo good about myself (I didn’t feel good about hurting him; I felt good about doing what needed to be done for once). That was the fuel for this resoultion I suppose. Then I got back with the ex in the new year, and he had to get serious surgery, was in extreme physical pain, and emotional pain from having to quit playing the sport he played since he was 5. I spent a couple months commuting from Boston to NH to take care of him, stay up all night, sleep in the hospital, etc. Even when I had other plans, I’d break them because he would call me up and sound sooo sad and lonely. I did whatever this grown 6’4 man wanted because I felt bad for him and I completely disregarded my own feelings in the process. All for someone who had broken my heart before. For someone who I’m not so sure would have done the same for me. So, in May (when he was fully healed) we broke it off for good and I have been living completely for myself ever since. I’m not saying I regret helping him. But from now on, I’m not going to devote my life to someone who doesn’t even show much appreciation. I need to put my feelings first. Those were the most exhausting 4 months of my life.

#2 Take better advantage of my free time-
Uhh I dunno. I work at home now so my work time and free time get really blurry. I hope to sort this out soon.

#3 Spend more time on my freelance work and seriously start writing my book-
Umm my freelance work became my full-time job, so yes to that. And I have absolutely no idea what “book” I was talking about, so no to that. I did not start any book of any sort. Bad me?

#4 Get more sleep-
HAHAHA this is pretty laughable. I did quite the opposite. The amount of sleep I get is horrendous and will catch up with me someday. Sigh. Maybe I’ll try again in 2008.

#5 Do Pilate’s at least 5 days a week-
Hmmm. No. I definitely did this on-and-off. I’d be realllyyy good for a month and then take 2 months off. Oh well.

#6 Be more easygoing and less uptight-
This one seriously amazes me because I didn’t even realize I knew I needed to change this last year. And if there is one thing I can say I changed this year, it is that. Now, in December 2007, if you asked me to use a word to describe myself, I might even say “easygoing.” If you asked what I wasn’t, I’d say “uptight.” I think I did like a 180 on this. I obviously blame my previous uptightedness it on the ex. I think it was in August or so when a guy who hadn’t known me for long said something to me like, “you are one of the most easygoing, happy people I know.” Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before. The ex would not know me anymore. It feels sooo good to be easygoing and not let things get to you. Because, really? Life goes on. And nobody can *make* me be happy. It’s not good to let others control how you feel. I choose happiness.

Mostly, I can say that 2007 was a good year to me and made me such a better person. I’ve never seen myself transform in such a positive way and I’m a little bit proud of who I’m turning into. While I obviously still have a lot to work on, I am much more independent, easygoing, happy, positive, and carefree than I was last year. And I like it. So, if 2007 was my year of transformation, who knows what 2008 can bring!

2008 resolutions to come. I’m re-posting the pic of Sas and I on New Year’s Eve last year because ummm we look like babies. I can’t believe this was only a year ago. And I have bangs. Wow.

night on my town.

I know I talk endlessly about why I love living where I do, but I really can’t help it. One of my favorite things about living in Coolidge Corner is all of the little independent businesses. Sure, they’re rapidly disappearing (and yes, I was the first to cheer about the opening of Panera, but I like the place; I can’t help it. And I had never been to Zathmary’s, but I’m sure it was just lovely), but there are at least 2 independents that I’m pretty sure will be around for a long time. And I honestly hate myself for living here for 2.5 years and not taking advantage of them AT ALL.

I mean, I go to the Brookline Booksmith all of the time, but I never take advantage of their author events. It’s one of the best independent bookstores in the country, and they have some of the coolest authors visiting (Elizabeth Gilbert was there in February!!). And do I ever go? Nope. I’m always all like “ehh, tickets sell out so fast; I’m sure it’s too late.” You’d think I could look at the schedule ahead of time, decide who I want to see, and at least try. Hellooo, I am a publishing student who cares deeply about the industry and the state of the book and the independent bookstore. What is wrong with me? I buy books here when I can, but the truth is, I’m a poor graduate student and it’s tough to spend $30 on a book when I can get it on Amazon for $17. But someday when I am making the big bucks, I am totally donating tons of money to this place. I went in with my mom last week and was utterly embarrassed when I pointed out a book and she loudly said, “We can get that a lot cheaper on Amazon.com!” “Shhh!” I glared at her. “You don’t say things like that in here!!!” She felt really horrible and was on her best behavior the rest of the time. And ended up buying lots of stuff.

The Coolidge Corner Theatre is the other awesome independent that I never utilize. Um, I’ve actually never been there in the 2.5 years I’ve lived here. Yes, I’m ashamed!! But in my defense, I have been to a total of 1 movie since I’ve lived in Boston (I=horrible movie watcher. Sad, but true. Don’t laugh). Well, I went to the CCT tonight, and I am in LOVE. I think it was probably a combination of the nachos and orange crush martini I had at the Coolidge Corner Clubhouse beforehand, the total and complete cuteness of the Coolidge Corner Theater (they have red curtains over the screen!!!), the amazing concession stand (gourmet chocolate bars, Herrell’s ice cream, hot apple cider, Tazo tea…the list goes on!!), and the ridiculous awesomeness of the movie Juno, but this place just made me feel extremely happy.

SEE JUNO. I am not a movie watcher (hello, 1 movie since I’ve lived here), but I really, really loved this. It actually make me laugh out loud (LOL) and it is rare that a movie does that to me. It also brought some tears (not so rare; I cry at everything. I laugh A LOT too, but find real life much funnier than movies. Luckily, I don’t have much sadness in my life so it often takes fiction to make me cry). It was just a good movie, fabulous soundtrack, and all around good time. I have a feeling I might start seeing movies more. Wow.

(You can’t tell me this isn’t adorable!)

And the best part is, it’s just a 2-minute walk home. I love my life.

holiday shipping.

I spent a better portion of my day at the post office. I’m exaggerating really, but the place was totally a mad house. I have to say, though, the postal employees at the Coolidge Corner post office are all pretty amazing. I’m basically post office-illiterate and never know what boxes to use, how to prepare everything, etc. The line was pretty much out the door and right when I walked in an employee offered to help me. She got my box all ready, put my packages in, and taped it up. Everyone was cheerful and helped move things along efficiently. I had to resist the urge to have a throw-down with several elderly customers who thought it was OK to cut in line and look at me and say “I was here earlier.” Ummm sure. It’s the holiday season so I didn’t argue it, but it made the never-ending line even longer. I am also kind of annoyed by the holiday stamp offerings this year. It was either “mother and child” or “holiday knit sweater.” “Oh, and we have Kwanzaa, too” the post office worker told me. Sweet. I chose “holiday knit sweater,” and while I think it’s a really strange concept, I guess it’s kind of cute.

I pretty much finished up my Christmas cards tonight…better late than never. I spent so much time crafting them that I had absolutely no desire to write them out and address them. I also realized that I’m totally turning into my mother, except I’m not as talented as her. I freaked out because I didn’t make address labels for the envelopes and didn’t have the proper return labels. I never bought return labels because I didn’t know how long I’d be living in this apartment (if I had known it would be 3 years, I probably would have). So, my label choices were ugly doctors without borders labels, super gaudy and ugly puppies and kittens labels, and really cute winter labels from my hospital, in which my address was wrong. (Um, you’d think after all the money I dished over to my hospital this year, they could at least get my address right…somehow the bills still got to me obviously!) Anyway, after obsessing over it for a while, my roommate said, “umm why does it matter? Just write it on.” In ballpoint pen??? On a Christmas card?? Hell no!! I don’t know why I care so much, but I just kept picturing my mom’s picture perfect Christmas card envelopes and knew I couldn’t do it. She would be so disappointed in me. So I shamefully, edited the address on the free labels from my hospital with a black sharpie. Not so classy, but I don’t think it’s too noticeable, and it was my best option. I’m pretty sure the holidays will continue on, even with my horrendous envelope presentation.

I sent a holiday card to the ex’s family. Maybe not my most fabulous idea, but after thinking about it, I just decided I really don’t care. I love that family and think the least I can do is send a card saying happy holidays. Knowing the ex and his family, they’ll just look at it and say, “awww how nice,” and that will be that. They don’t make a big deal out of things; so why should I?

Only a week until Christmas is here. I’m a little less excited than usual considering my sister won’t be home this year. I don’t do well with changes in tradition and it’s going to feel so strange to have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with just me and my parents. That girl needs to move her butt back to Boston, because I’m starting to feel like I have just a 3-person family. And I can’t remember the last time I spent time with just my sister, without some sort of boyfriend being there. Sad.

done. done. done.

I just had my last class of graduate school and I honestly can’t even think straight right now. I obviously worked to the last minute to get my final project done. Then I hopped on the T and sat on it for an hour. An entire hour. When it should take me 20 minutes to get to class. I ended up being about 25 minutes late to class and my class was not in our classroom. So I (along with another guy from my class who had been on the green line as well) wandered from bar to bar looking for them. We finally found them, had a couple beers (on my teacher, how nice!), ate my cupcakes, and went home. Rather than get back on the miserable T, I walked home. Now I suddenly feel completely drained, like I could pass out and sleep forever. Maybe it’s the last 2.5 years of not sleeping catching up with me. Anyway, I should probably be out partying, but it’s Monday night and I don’t have too many friends up for that. But I’m definitely going out and celebrating some night this week (or maybe several). I kinda think I deserve it.

I’m leaving you with one of my fave ever live performances of my fave artist Ryan Adams. The lyrics in this song are so powerful and Ryan’s voice is pretty much amazing. I think it says something when you like a singer live better than you like him or her in the studio (though I love the harmonica in the studio version of this). Ryan makes me happy when nobody else can. Off to dreamland I go!