So, I wrote a whole really long post and then read it over and realized it sounded WAY too depressing for Christmas Eve. I’ve been a bit emotional lately, what with my sister not being here for Christmas and everything just feeling so different. And running into the ex on Saturday at the bar probably didn’t help. But then again, it actually might have.
I have to say I feel really, really good about how all of that went. It made me realize how I nicely I can pull out of heartache and how strong I am. And that I obviously dated him for 3 years for a reason; he’s a good person. I was surprised that after we said hi, we all continued hanging out and I felt completely comfortable and happy. His friends were a delight and I appreciated them so much more now than I ever did when we were together and our two groups merged nicely on the dance floor. His one friend was wrong with his prediction of, “tonight is going to be drama.” It was anything but. And leaving the bar I hugged my ex and said it was nice running into him and I thought we could be friends. “I think so too,” he said. “You’re a really good person.” At first I laughed because I know I’m a good person and that’s a pretty lame thing to say to someone you were extremely serious with and deeply in love with with for 3 years. But then I realized this was always his way. He was never good with talking about the things that mattered, and coming from him, this is actually a big compliment. “Why are you laughing?” he asked me. “I’m not…” I said. “Thanks. You’re a good person, too.”
And when it comes down to it, isn’t that what matters in life? Good people. I have so many good people in my life. I have parents who do everything in their power to make sure I’m constantly happy, whether it’s picking me up in Boston so I don’t have to take the train home, cooking me meals and waiting on me hand and foot, or hugging me every chance they get. I also have a big sister who, no matter where she is and who she’s with and how difficult it is for me to understand her, I know loves me and wants the world for me. And I have the most genuine friends who have been with me through thick and thin and who reassure me, stand by me, and comfort me at all times.
So, even though Christmas is going to feel different this year, I think it will be good. I have so much to be thankful for this holiday season, and no matter where everyone is or how sad I am that things are changing, I know we all love each other and just want each other to be happy. And Christmas alone with my parents means I’m going to get spoiled like crazy. I guess I can deal with that; though I would trade in every single present under the tree to have my sister run into my room and wake me up in the morning.
Happy Holidays to everyone. I hope you get everything you want, but especially the love and closeness of your family and friends. And don’t forget to be thankful for the good people in your life…yourself included <3