looking back on new years past.
Last year I wrote about New Year’s resolutions and how much I enjoy them. I freaking love lists, goals, and things to work toward. What can I say? I guess I need structure in my life or nothing gets done. Also, there’s never any harm in making some resolutions. What’s the worst that can happen? You suck at life and break them all. Nobody dies (unless, of course, you’re resolving not to kill someone). I make goals for myself year round, but it is only at the new year that I make resolutions. My problem is that I often make resolutions and then completely forget to look back at them. My year got so crazy and so many things changed early on in 2007 that I didn’t even remember making resolutions. Oops. So, while I don’t have my list of 2008 resolutions ready quite yet, I thought I’d take some time to look back at last year’s list and see how I did without really even trying.
#1 Think about myself more and spending less time worrying about other’s feelings- Wow. Wow. Wow. I spent from January-May doing precisely the opposite of this resolution. And then from May on doing exactly it. Go me. I know it sounds mean, but trust me, I needed to do it. Ever since I was a kid I’d get these horrible guilty feelings and end up doing a lot of stuff for people I didn’t want to do because I’d “feel bad.” It wasn’t healthy and I started to realize this last year when I was sort of dating someone I wasn’t really into (slash I still wasn’t over the ex). I finally thought, why am I with someone just because I feel bad about hurting their feelings? So, I broke up with him and felt soooooo good about myself (I didn’t feel good about hurting him; I felt good about doing what needed to be done for once). That was the fuel for this resoultion I suppose. Then I got back with the ex in the new year, and he had to get serious surgery, was in extreme physical pain, and emotional pain from having to quit playing the sport he played since he was 5. I spent a couple months commuting from Boston to NH to take care of him, stay up all night, sleep in the hospital, etc. Even when I had other plans, I’d break them because he would call me up and sound sooo sad and lonely. I did whatever this grown 6′4 man wanted because I felt bad for him and I completely disregarded my own feelings in the process. All for someone who had broken my heart before. For someone who I’m not so sure would have done the same for me. So, in May (when he was fully healed) we broke it off for good and I have been living completely for myself ever since. I’m not saying I regret helping him. But from now on, I’m not going to devote my life to someone who doesn’t even show much appreciation. I need to put my feelings first. Those were the most exhausting 4 months of my life.
#2 Take better advantage of my free time- Uhh I dunno. I work at home now so my work time and free time get really blurry. I hope to sort this out soon.
#3 Spend more time on my freelance work and seriously start writing my book- Umm my freelance work became my full-time job, so yes to that. And I have absolutely no idea what “book” I was talking about, so no to that. I did not start any book of any sort. Bad me?
#4 Get more sleep- HAHAHA this is pretty laughable. I did quite the opposite. The amount of sleep I get is horrendous and will catch up with me someday. Sigh. Maybe I’ll try again in 2008.
#5 Do Pilate’s at least 5 days a week- Hmmm. No. I definitely did this on-and-off. I’d be realllyyy good for a month and then take 2 months off. Oh well.
#6 Be more easygoing and less uptight- This one seriously amazes me because I didn’t even realize I knew I needed to change this last year. And if there is one thing I can say I changed this year, it is that. Now, in December 2007, if you asked me to use a word to describe myself, I might even say “easygoing.” If you asked what I wasn’t, I’d say “uptight.” I think I did like a 180 on this. I obviously blame my previous uptightedness it on the ex. I think it was in August or so when a guy who hadn’t known me for long said something to me like, “you are one of the most easygoing, happy people I know.” Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before. The ex would not know me anymore. It feels sooo good to be easygoing and not let things get to you. Because, really? Life goes on. And nobody can *make* me be happy. It’s not good to let others control how you feel. I choose happiness.
Mostly, I can say that 2007 was a good year to me and made me such a better person. I’ve never seen myself transform in such a positive way and I’m a little bit proud of who I’m turning into. While I obviously still have a lot to work on, I am much more independent, easygoing, happy, positive, and carefree than I was last year. And I like it. So, if 2007 was my year of transformation, who knows what 2008 can bring!
2008 resolutions to come. I’m re-posting the pic of Sas and I on New Year’s Eve last year because ummm we look like babies. I can’t believe this was only a year ago. And I have bangs. Wow.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:11 am
I tend to drift towards your #1. Now, I try and tell myself to do things for others when I am confident they would do the same for me. Has worked out pretty well I think…
December 21st, 2007 at 4:04 am
#1 is definitely worth trying, I started doing it a couple years ago and it really makes a difference.
Btw…great pic!
December 21st, 2007 at 8:23 am
It does sound like a pretty productive year.
Cool idea for a blog post.
Some of my resolutions were similar. I started a book! However my writing of it has gone much like your pilates.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:50 am
Glad that 2007 was a good year, and I’m sure 2008 will be even better! Also? Your bangs are very cute!
December 21st, 2007 at 10:17 am
It’s crazy how much we can change (both mentally and physically) in just a year. Even if you didn’t complete all of your resolutions, it’s helpful to be aware enough of yourself to realize which ones you’d like to try again.
And this line “I did not start any book of any sort. Bad me?” made me laugh so much!
December 21st, 2007 at 10:22 am
How cool that you actually assessed how you did on last year’s resolutions! I don’t even remember what mine were…if I even had any. But I definitely agree with resolution #1, it’s SO important to not forget to focus on yourself. You deserve it. And #6! “I choose happiness.” Wow! Hooray for being easygoing!!
December 21st, 2007 at 11:07 am
I love New Year’s resolutions and I need to review mine! I think you did admirably, especially on number one, which is the most important!
December 21st, 2007 at 11:27 am
i haven’t drafted my resoluations yet but i plan to soon. here’s to a better and brighter 2008 as hott, single 20-somethings!!
December 21st, 2007 at 11:57 am
I like this post. I’m definitely going to steal the idea for a later date.
#1 especially resonates with me. Actually they all sound like good resolutions!
December 21st, 2007 at 12:33 pm
we look like kids in that pic! i think your book was supossed to be about dpl!
December 21st, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Congratulations! This is a good idea – to evaluate the year’s progress and actually think about the resolutions you made last year. It makes them more worthwhile, I think, as well as more beneficial. I think your #1 & #6 are things I need to look at as well. I don’t know that I’m necessarily uptight, but I’m not easy-going, either. Hmmm…
December 21st, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Isn’t it amazing what can happen in a year? I wonder if the real value in resolutions is that we can go back and see what seemed important then and see how we’ve changed.
And I love, love, love that you can’t remember what book you resolved to write. Talk about being set free from expectations! Good stuff
December 21st, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Oh sounds like you had some good goals that you kind of stuck to. I love lists but I rarely make goals for the New Year, but hey maybe this year I will…
December 21st, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Taking care of yourself is v. important. Glad you’ve realized that.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:24 am
Wow! You girls seriously do look pretty young!
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Sleep!
God damn it, its the simplest thing on your list
All you gotta do is take a pillow and lay down. Mother nature does the rest!
I didn’t make any resolutions last year, but will definitely make some this year. Maybe blogging about it will help me remember I made them at all :-p
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Sleep! Haha, definitely make sure you follow through with that. I am an absolute zombie, unless I get at least 7 hours.
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:59 pm
what a good idea!
.. and i love making lists too! especially on post-its