After returning home slightly tipsy from last night’s blogging event and watching the Sox claim another victory, I checked my mailbox. Bills, catalog, New York mag, and cute little flyer. What did the flyer say? “Emerson College recognizes National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week- October 21st-27th. Plan to Drink Responsibly” First of all, why am I receiving this flyer on October 25th, two days before Alcohol Awareness Week is over? Apparently they don’t think we will be drinking Sun-Wed. Um, it’s World Series week in Boston; they are oh so wrong.
The front of the flyer wasn’t bad. It gave me some ideas for how to drink responsibly, though they are nothing you shouldn’t already know. The best part of the flyer was the part on the back that offers a list titled “Keep in mind some of the benefits of not drinking.” Here are some of their reasons you shouldn’t drink:
- no hangovers- Wow, really? If I don’t drink I won’t get hungover??
- better quality of sleep- I sleep amazingly well if I’ve had a few.
- better mood- Not true. Alcohol puts me in a good mood.
- healthy, hydrated skin- Trying to appeal to the vain.
- more money- Again, really? I’ll have more money if I don’t drink?
- less embarrassment- HA. could be true.
- better workouts- Trying to appeal to the jocks. Not sure how they figure this.
- healthy liver- Scare tactic.
- less drama- Again, possibly true, but we all need a little drama in our lives. Drama happens when you’re sober too. And bored. Boredom happens when you’re not drinking.
- easier to quit smoking- As if a drinker/smoker cares.
- more energy on the weekends- And more boredom.
- easier to get up early- Because you go to sleep at 7 p.m. due to lack of anything to do.
- more quality time with friends- I have lots of quality time w/ friends when alcohol is involved.
I understand what they were trying to get at, but come on, this is pathetic. I would love to have written the copy for this. Unfortunately, when you get a bunch of adults and non-drinkers together to try and get people to drink less, it doesn’t work. Guarantee not one student looked at this flyer and said, “Wow, they’re right! I’m going to stop drinking.” They should have someone who does drink (responsibly) writing this. I could have done of fabby job of telling kiddies how to have a few, enjoy life, but wake up alive the next morning. And I would have gotten it out on time too. I also think it’s lame they’re sending it to 25-year-old graduate students. And furthermore, who plans National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness week over Halloween weekend??
Tonight I’m going to the last Celtics pre-season game and my very first Celts game/professional basketball game ever. Yay! I’m sure I will have some drinks. Tomorrow night is the Halloween party, where I’m sure I will have more drinks. I’m responsible though. I swear.