I am not a fan of Halloween. I realize this goes against most popular opinion. I can’t help it though. I understand it’s all in good fun, but there’s something that totally creeps me out about a bunch of grown adults putting on cheesy costumes and waltzing around.
I don’t think I had a problem with Halloween as a child, but looking back, I probably should have. Some of my costumes were just plain wrong. One year I went as a magician, wearing a cape, a hat, and a wand. I even had a freaking moustache face-painted on me. In the pictures I look seriously creepy; why did my parents allow that to happen/help me with my costume?? Since my sister and I were both dancers, we always had access to a plethora of weird costumes (mermaid, cavemen, Bart Simpson [yes, Beth danced to "Do the Bart Man"])
Every year in elementary school we had the Spooky Fun Fair, which was basically the most exciting time of the year. They set up our school’s cafetorium (HA!) into a fun fest that had tons of games and prizes. My favorite part was always the cake walk, which looking back is incredibly disgusting. You walked around a big circle to music and if you were standing on the winning paper circle when the music stopped, you got to choose any cake you wanted. A nasty cake some other person made. Or probably had their kids make. But it was thrilling at the time. One year I got my very own oreo cookie cake (my mom trained me to choose the store bought ones as they were probably a bit safer). The other awesome thing about the SFF was the mystery bag table. Volunteers filled brown paper lunch bags with “prizes” and you paid some of your tickets and got to pick a bag and it was a total surprise what was in it. And chances are it was filled with crap. Little trinkets, or random food goods for instance. Once I got one of those little plastic bottles filled with gross sugary juice. Good times. My mom never bought them for me so it was a huge score.
The worst part about SFF for me was the hallway converted into the haunted house. I was probably one of the biggest wusses alive and was scared to death to go anywhere near the haunted house. This is quite pathetic considering the 5th graders were the ones who planned and put on the haunted house. I’m sure it was quite the fright fest. I mostly remember 5th graders jumping out and yelling boo and bowls filled with grapes that you were supposed to think were eyeballs. And I probably did.
That said, I’m obviously going out for Halloween this year. Let’s face it, if I don’t go out, I’ll just be sitting around by myself while everyone else is out. Someone usually finds a way to convince me to go out and the only year I really found salvation was the Halloween I went to visit my sister in Chicago who also hates the holiday. After much discussion and deliberation with my friends, I have decided to go as Nicole Richie. Mostly because I think it will be an easy costume and my other friends are going as celebs as well. I do, however, have to thank and give a special shout out to Sas for her other fabulous ideas:
-Whitey Bulger: “Dress in all white and put something in your pants to make a bulge!” Perfect for Boston.
-Little White Lie: Dress in all white and pin little cards on your outfit that say things like “You don’t look fat” and “your baby is soo cute.” Genius.
I’m sorry but I just don’t think costumes get any better than this.
Fun fact: For past 3 years I’ve had class on Halloween night. My first year in Boston, I was coming home from class at 10 p.m. and the guy standing next to me on the T had a gun. And no, it was not part of his costume. Luckily, I did not realize this until we were stopped for 20 minutes, the police got on the T, handcuffed him, and took him away. Then one of his friends said to the other “S*$t man, how did they know he had a gun??” Sweet. Mom and Dad never heard that story.