Last week in the midst of party planning, I called my mom to get a good sangria recipe. She couldn’t find hers and was giving me suggestions on where to find one. “Check out that woman’s page…you know, the crazy one. Sandra Lee?” What? My own mother, flesh and blood, the one who is partly responsible for making me the food snob I am today was suggesting I look on Sandra Lee’s website? “Mom…” I said, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just tell me to follow a recipe from Sandra Lee.” My mom laughed, “I know how you feel about her, but you know she’s always drinking on her show…I think she’s an alcoholic. So I’m guessing she’d have a good sangria recipe.” Point taken.
But after looking on her website for .5 seconds, I realized how much I despise Sandra Lee and her 70/30 philosophy (she combines 70% store bought products with 30% fresh and creative). I am by no means a skilled chef, but come on; half the stuff she makes is complete crap. However, I can’t stop watching her because it just intrigues me that a woman like this has her own show.
Reasons I just can’t respect the queen of semi-homemade:
I believe that she fools people into thinking cooking is really hard and something you shouldn’t take time to do. When she makes cakes, she makes them from a box! I mean, if you are short on time or just want a quick cake making it from a box is fine, but do you really need Sandra Lee to tell you this? Frosting is probably the easiest thing in the world to make from scratch, but Sandra always chooses the packaged stuff. Or worse…she uses Cool Whip! AND her recipe for macaroni and cheese instructs “cooks” to use Kraft macaroni and cheese! Yeah, I need a recipe to tell me that.
I don’t really consider anything made with cream of mushroom soup or cheeze whiz to be actual cooking. She uses cream of mushroom soup A LOT and once had a full show on cheese whiz.
She has “tablescapes” each episode, in which she decorates for her parties. Oftentimes these are horrendous and oftentimes she dresses up to fit with them. I’m willing to estimate that in the history of her show 2 people have used a tablescape of hers. They scream theme party taken wayyy too far.
The woman decorated her entire Christmas tree with barware. She called it her cocktail tree and had a nutcracker on top holding a martini. Enough said.
One of the first times I watched her she said something along the lines of, “I’m using Reggiano. But you can use Parmesan if you like.” Umm, OK? She also confuses mascaropone and marzipan, two very different food items. I expect a little more from Food Network chefs.
She’s a huge alcoholic. Drinks a lot in each episode and tells stories about drinking so much she passes out. So sad it’s entertaining. Sometimes I tune in just to see how much she’ll drink today.
There are some things I really dislike about myself. Like the fact that I think Icanhascheezeburger.com is absolutely hilarious. I really don’t want to like it. I know it’s not even funny, but every time I see one, I burst out laughing. I don’t like cats. And I hate internet-speak. Sooo why do I laugh so hard when I see these lame cats (lolcats) using internet-speak? I can’t explain it.
I just read an article about lifecasters, people who go around all day with a camera on their head so millions of online viewers can see their every move. It made me really depressed because I realized that if I went around with a camera on my head, nobody would want to watch. I’d probably get about 2 viewers (Sas and Chels) and they’d most likely fall asleep within 5 minutes.
If I had become a lifecaster today, here’s what my viewers would have seen:
- Me staring at my computer screen for about 8 hours looking at my job’s admin. panel, word documents full of relationship advice to edit, and job search sites.
- Me staring at a lot of bills, including cable, electric, tuition, rent, faulty insurance bills, and the like.
- Me on a disgustingly sweaty run that went at an OK pace until I thought it was a good idea to run up Corey Road and then up and down Summit. Then it turned into a horrible panting half-jog the rest of the way, and a stumble down the hill.
- I think I might have stared at the wall for a little while, too.
And now viewers will get to see my exciting shopping trip to Trader Joe’s and maybe even, if you’re lucky, a stop at CVS. Does it get any more exciting than that? Seriously, are some people’s lives so exciting that others want to watch them 24/7? And where can I get a life like that?
They’re baaaack. As Sas and I sat dining on Newbury Street, we realized it was finally that time of year again. The official end of summer and the official return of the college students. On the one hand, it was refreshing to see actual people everywhere; I felt like I lived in a city again. On the other, I’m not so excited to see hordes of college kids everywhere. I feel like such an old woman; I’m only 24 (exactly 1 month, 1 day till 25!), but I just feel like I’ve been over the whole college thing for sooo long. And I get so easily annoyed by college students. Granted I try not to complain too much because I know the colleges and universities are what make Boston and I really do appreciate that.
Just not looking forward to a more crowded T and ridiculous lines for bars. My friends and I decided we need to start hanging out in places where college students don’t go. Any ideas for hot weekend spots with a mid-twenties and older crowd?
The people on Newbury St. were just plain weird tonight and I almost got in a straight up fight with some chick trying to sell some sort of magazine. Sas and I were sitting on the steps of a building enjoying our JP Licks when she approached. We said no thanks and she said, “God, people in Boston are so rude! And nobody cares about the arts!” I said (seriously trying to be helpful), “Maybe if you took off your giant Yankees necklace, people would be more receptive to you” and she started talking about how people in NY appreciate the arts soo much more and then went on and on about how many pennants the Yankees have won compared to the Sox. I just repeated over and over “The Red Sox are 8 games ahead of the Yankees. 8 games. 8 games” (Of course, this was before I knew we were currently losing a game to the Yankees, pshh whatever). It got a little heated but she finally walked away still yelling about pennants. I hate people sometimes.
Note to self:
Don’t leave your friends’ apartment at 12:10 a.m. expecting you can still catch the T, which I always thought was supposed to run until 12:30 a.m, but allegedly leaves Cleveland Circle for the last time at 12:10. You will then wait for the T for 15 minutes, realize it’s not coming and then stand like an idiot on the side of the road until it becomes apparent that nobody, especially not a cab, drives down Beacon Street at 12:30 a.m. on a Monday. You will continue standing like an idiot until a cop drives by you twice and then stops to ask what you’re up to, probably figuring you’re a hooker or selling some sort of illegal substance. He will then offer to go find a cab for you. When he returns, he will lecture you about not calling a cab before leaving your friends’ house and not at all understand your reasoning behind it.
Life would be so much easier if I could just walk anywhere I wanted at any hour. I hate living in a world where I can’t comfortably walk 20 minutes to my apartment on a nice late August night. And I hate that I live in the Brookline and Brighton area and it’s pretty much completely dead any time after 11:00. Is everyone seriously in bed?? I think I just need to meet a group of friends who stay up ridiculous hours and believe that life is too short to sleep, like I do. It’s a lonely, scary world when the sun goes down…Thank God for Brookline cops who hail cabs for me.