Everyone Loves a Boston Girl

I killed 2 bugs in the last 3 days. Granted they were not very big (actually, they were kind of tiny), nor did they have stingers or anything like that (but they did have wings!), I’m still proud of myself. I have a completely unjustified fear of all bugs. I’d love more than anything to get over my fear, but that would probably mean being stuck in a room with a million of them, and there’s no way I would ever do that.

I legit freeze up if a bug is anywhere near me. I have a really difficult time killing them. What if I miss? What if it attacks me? Worse yet, what if I kill it and there are bug guts everywhere? The weird thing is, I only act this irrational indoors; bugs outside really don’t bother me. And I only really get this way if I’m alone. If there are other people with me, I’m typically fine. As long as the other people also agree to kill/get rid of the bug. One of my requirements in a roommate is that they are capable bug-killers.

My parents yell at me whenever I freak out over a bug. They can’t understand it as when I was a kid I used to spend a lot of time outside catching bugs in jars and observing them. Gross. I’ve never had any particular bad experiences with bugs; I’ve never even been stung by a bee. Never seen a cockroach or anything too nasty like that. Though I did one time watch in horror as my sister frantically jumped up and down on my parents bed due a hornet being stuck in her pants. Maybe I was scarred by this?

I can only hope that I will get over my fear some day. I can just imagine myself with little kids, screaming at them to kill a bug in the house. For now, I just surround myself with people who can do the bug-killing for me. And pray that nothing too gross gets into my apartment. Especially when my roommate’s not home.