Everyone Loves a Boston Girl

I went to The Middle East in Cambridge for my first time last night. In the words of my now-living-in-Chicago-sister, “OMG you’ve never been to The Middle East?? What do you do??” When she asked me if I’ve ever been to T.T. The Bears and I said no to that too, I thought she was going to disown me. I didn’t date a Boston band guy for 4 years of my life like she did, so I guess I haven’t had the opportunity to check out too much of Boston’s music scene. Actually, I probably haven’t even been to Central Square since my high school days. Sue me. Anyway, my roommate’s boyfriend is in the band My So-Called Friend, which is great because it gives us the opportunity to check out parts of Boston we normally wouldn’t. Not to mention, the band is amazing and never fail to put on a fabulous show. And they’re cute too. You should check them out here

MSCF also has probably the best manager in the world…Matt Cohen. I grew up playing with a family friend Matt Cohen who my parents secretly hoped I would marry someday. But until now I never met another Matt Cohen. And then out of the blue last week, my sister called me and said, “I met a guy named Matt Cohen the other day!” So, maybe it’s a more popular name than I thought. However, this Matt Cohen is most def. the best of them all. And he’s also an avid reader of my blog…and that makes him even cooler. Soo hi Matt Cohen, rock on!

My friends often make fun of me and my stringent list of characteristics a guy must have in order for me to date him. My list is partly in good fun; I wouldn’t turn anyone down because they don’t exactly fit my ideal person. I just have a few nit-picky things…though I am now convinced I will probably end up marrying someone completely the opposite of the man who fits my specifications. Anyway, my main specification is that my significant other must not be a picky eater. If he hasn’t tried a lot of foods, fine. But he must be open to trying new things, and hopefully he’ll like them. Sushi is the main thing. I am sushi-obsessed and must have someone I can go on sushi dates with. Also, I don’t like birkenstocks and don’t want to date anyone who wears them. And I despise Subarus…a lot. And I prefer dark hair to blond hair.

OK, now that I sound like a picky and horrible person, I have to add another to the list. I cannot feasibly date anyone who doesn’t have Verizon as their primary cell phone service. Years ago, I used to have horrendous cell phone bills until Verizon introduced Verizon to Verizon minutes. Almost everyone I talk to has Verizon, including the old bf, so I had absolutely no billing problems. It was a spectacular couple of years. Then I quit my job and had all sorts of time to hang out on the phone. One friend in particular (no names shall be mentioned) calls me almost every day on her lunch break. This is one of 2 main friends who do not have Verizon (The other doesn’t like talking on the phone.

Anyway, my mom called me last week and was just wondering whyy my bill was $290 extra this month. Ooops. First of all, oops to the fact that my mom still pays my phone bill. Horrible I know, but FYI it is extremely difficult to get off of a plan once you’re on one. She asked me who on Earth I’ve been talking to. And now she probably thinks I’m dating Chelsee (yeah, I mentioned names) because I spend excessive amounts of time on the phone with her. Not to mention we e-mail all day long and she lives about 5 minutes down the road. Maybe I should just date her. After all, she does like sushi…doesn’t wear birkenstocks…doesn’t drive a Subaru…and has dark hair. Her only downfall is that she doesn’t have Verizon. Tough luck.

It always amazes me what a small city Boston is. And by small, I mean I can’t go anywhere without seeing at least a few people I know. I kind of like it and it kind of creeps me out. Basically there’s no room for mistakes. I feel like in a place like NYC, you can be a complete idiot for a night, go home, and say “well, it’s not like I’m ever going to see those people again.” And you won’t. But it Boston, you probably will see those people again.

Basically this means we are made to avoid certain bars, certain restaurants, and even certain neighborhoods just because we know certain people will be there. There’s a constant feeling of “oh crap, what if I see someone I know,” because you know you will. On the other hand, it’s kind of comforting to run into familiar faces all of the time; makes the city feel a bit more like home (as long as those familiar faces are not the same ones who saw your drunken antics the weekend before). And it helps you make friends and form relationships better if you’re always running into the same people. I’m just waiting for the day when I’ve met every person in Boston and I can walk into any establishment in the city and realize that I know every single person there.

I’ve always hated when people use the phrase “it’s a small world.” But it really is. And Boston is even smaller. See you soon, I’m sure.

Trader Joe’s has the best fish ever. Period. I thought eww frozen fish, no thank you. But then I tried it and was completely shocked. It tastes amazingly fresh. Apparently, they use some process called “flash freezing,” where they freeze the fish right when it gets on the boat, making it essentially fresher than fresh fish. Wow, good to know. It’s cheap too. I especially recommend the salmon roulettes. Honestly to die for. Something else to love Trader Joe’s for.

Sometimes I wonder about my sense of humor. I think I’m great face-to-face. I find myself laughing a lot, sometimes uncontrollably. It’s movies and TV shows that I have a hard time with. I just don’t sit in a movie theater watching a movie and laughing out loud, unless it’s really amazingly funny. And there are certain things that will just never be funny to me.

Tonight I went to see Knocked Up. The previews before the movie were kind of funny. But the audience was literally laughing out loud (LOLing for those of you who only understand Internet jargon) at things that just weren’t funny to me. For instance: Man throws ball. Ball hits other man in face. Audience laughs uncontrollably. I thought the woman behind me was going to choke on her popcorn, she was laughing so hard. Huh? I don’t think I even cracked a smile. This, to me, is not funny. And I call this type of humor Home Alone humor. Remember in Home Alone when little Kevin plays all those dirty tricks on the men breaking into his house? He drops a hot iron on one of them. He hits them with paint cans. Yeah, not funny to me.

I don’t know why I don’t find these things funny, I just know I don’t. And I’m kind of jealous that others can laugh so whole-heartedly at stuff like this. Strangely though, I often laugh at people’s Home Alone type misfortunes in real life (i.e. woman falling of T, etc.). Does this make me a bad person?

I’m very specific in the movies and television shows I think are funny. I absolutely love things like The Office and Napoleon Dynamite, which makes me think that maybe I’m just a true Bostonian with a purely dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I think Bostonians are also quick to laugh at other people’s misfortunes. In real life. LOL.