Everyone Loves a Boston Girl

Weirdo of the day:

While enjoying the beautiful sunny and sweltering hot day from a public grassy hill in Brookline, I encountered an incredibly strange man. Luckily, he stayed away from me. Had I brought a dog along with me, I may not have been so fortunate. It took me a little while to figure out who the man resembled, but then it hit me. He totally looked like the creepo uncle from Napoleon Dynamite. You know, Uncle Rico (sans sweatband, unfortunately). He didn’t have quite as much hair, but otherwise I’m pretty much sure it was him.

I first noticed him staring at a girl in her early-20s who was sitting quietly listening to her ipod. She had a cute little dog (springer spaniel maybe?) who was sitting obediently by her side. The dog noticed Uncle Rico, too. That’s because he was a)making come hither faces at it and b)holding up a giant stick, as though he were taunting the dog to play fetch. Every time the girl turned around, he looked the other way. Finally, she got skeeved out and walked away. As she and her dog left, Uncle Rico picked up a tennis ball and threw it at them. The girl walked faster without turning around, and Uncle Rico threw a stick at them. He stared after them until they were out of site.

Five minutes later, another girl came by walking a dog. Uncle Rico stared and stared and then started a conversation with her. I couldn’t overhear but she looked completely sketched out, seemed to be politely answering his questions, and then quickly left. Every time a dog came within view of this man, he picked up the large stick and tried to get the dogs’ attention.

When no dogs were within view, Uncle Rico sat on the stone wall and made loud noises by slapping his hands on his knees. At one point he got up, took off his shirt (ew), walked around, put his shirt back on, and sat down. What is wrong with people? I am honestly concerned for all dogs in and around the Brookline area. Keep your eye out for Uncle Rico.